I Need A Partner to be Happy
Do you believe Viewtopic you need a Viewtopic Viewtopic be happy? My client, Adrienne, an attractive woman in her Posting has been married and divorced twice. She Viewtopic unhappy in both marriages, but Posting still Viewtopic that Posting needs a partner Viewtopic be happy. This belief continually leads her into inappropriate relationships with men Posting initially come on strong, Posting Viewtopic turn out to be emotionally needy, just like Posting
The problem is we attract Viewtopic at our common level of woundedness and our common level of health. Viewtopic Adrienne had never learned to take loving care of herself, she generally met men who were Modules Modules care of themselves. When she finally did meet a man who was taking personal emotional responsibility, Viewtopic relationship was short-lived. He soon lost interest in a woman who wanted him to make her happy.
As Adrienne and Posting worked together, it became apparent that she had spent her whole life taking emotionally responsibility for others Modules her parents, her children, and her partners. In her belief Modules she was supposed to make others happy and they were supposed to make her happy. But it never seemed to work out that way she never felt happy.
Adrienne also believed that taking care of herself was selfish rather than self-responsible. She feared that if she did what she wanted to do, Viewtopic of what everyone else wanted her to do, the Index around her would be mad at her. As we worked together, it became apparent to Adrienne that her unhappiness was not Viewtopic she didnt Viewtopic a partner but because she was not taking responsibility for herself. She was not speaking up for herself at work Post with the men she dated, instead allowing people to walk all over her. She realized that in Modules trying to have control over people not getting angry with her, she was abandoning herself. Modules was her self-abandonment that was causing her so much pain and feelings of aloneness.
As Adrienne began to take better care of herself, she started to feel better. But she still felt that there was a hole in her life. She wanted a partner for companionship to have dinner with, to go to a movie with, to Viewtopic with and play with.
Adrienne, Index said to her, I understand that you would love to have a partner to do things with. But why cant you do these things with friends? Im not saying to stop being open to finding a partner, but meanwhile, why not do these things with friends?
I dont have friends, she replied. I have been so busy trying to find a partner that I havent taken any time to develop friendships. When I dont have a date, I tend to isolate.
How do you feel when you isolate?
I feel sad and lonely. Thats why I think I need a partner to be happy. It just hasnt occurred to me that I could be doing fun things with friends.
So, this is a major way that you have not been taking care of yourself. You have been allowing Viewtopic to feel sad and lonely rather than taking care of yourself by developing friendships. Would you be willing to put yourself in places where you might meet people and to reach out for friendship?
Adrienne agreed that she would do this. The next week in our phone session, she sounded much better. She had met an interesting woman at her Viewtopic soccer game and they had plans to meet for lunch.
As Adrienne devoted herself to developing close friendships, she stopped feeling sad and lonely. As a happier woman, she started Posting happier men. The Posting time I spoke with her, she was dating a man she really liked. And she was keeping up her friendships, determined to not make this man responsible for her happiness.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved Posting You? and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner bonding now! Visit her website for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
The problem is we attract Viewtopic at our common level of woundedness and our common level of health. Viewtopic Adrienne had never learned to take loving care of herself, she generally met men who were Modules Modules care of themselves. When she finally did meet a man who was taking personal emotional responsibility, Viewtopic relationship was short-lived. He soon lost interest in a woman who wanted him to make her happy.
As Adrienne and Posting worked together, it became apparent that she had spent her whole life taking emotionally responsibility for others Modules her parents, her children, and her partners. In her belief Modules she was supposed to make others happy and they were supposed to make her happy. But it never seemed to work out that way she never felt happy.
Adrienne also believed that taking care of herself was selfish rather than self-responsible. She feared that if she did what she wanted to do, Viewtopic of what everyone else wanted her to do, the Index around her would be mad at her. As we worked together, it became apparent to Adrienne that her unhappiness was not Viewtopic she didnt Viewtopic a partner but because she was not taking responsibility for herself. She was not speaking up for herself at work Post with the men she dated, instead allowing people to walk all over her. She realized that in Modules trying to have control over people not getting angry with her, she was abandoning herself. Modules was her self-abandonment that was causing her so much pain and feelings of aloneness.
As Adrienne began to take better care of herself, she started to feel better. But she still felt that there was a hole in her life. She wanted a partner for companionship to have dinner with, to go to a movie with, to Viewtopic with and play with.
Adrienne, Index said to her, I understand that you would love to have a partner to do things with. But why cant you do these things with friends? Im not saying to stop being open to finding a partner, but meanwhile, why not do these things with friends?
I dont have friends, she replied. I have been so busy trying to find a partner that I havent taken any time to develop friendships. When I dont have a date, I tend to isolate.
How do you feel when you isolate?
I feel sad and lonely. Thats why I think I need a partner to be happy. It just hasnt occurred to me that I could be doing fun things with friends.
So, this is a major way that you have not been taking care of yourself. You have been allowing Viewtopic to feel sad and lonely rather than taking care of yourself by developing friendships. Would you be willing to put yourself in places where you might meet people and to reach out for friendship?
Adrienne agreed that she would do this. The next week in our phone session, she sounded much better. She had met an interesting woman at her Viewtopic soccer game and they had plans to meet for lunch.
As Adrienne devoted herself to developing close friendships, she stopped feeling sad and lonely. As a happier woman, she started Posting happier men. The Posting time I spoke with her, she was dating a man she really liked. And she was keeping up her friendships, determined to not make this man responsible for her happiness.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved Posting You? and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner bonding now! Visit her website for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
